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| Chicano Park - San Diego, CA 2012 |
I ran around Lake Merritt twice today with my parents. On our way home we again saw the homeless
man, stationed at the freeway exit, like most days. We often wondered about him because he once
looked healthy and full. Was he new to
the streets? Was he getting help? Nowadays he doesn’t look so healthy. So we wonder what has happened since we first
saw him, what has changed? But today my
father answered these questions with a simple statement of: “He uses dope. I saw him with his pipe the other day.” This reminded me of a story from the run.
We ran into San Diego, CA on an evening in late August. The reception was beyond beautiful with the
many colors of Chicano Parks’ murals, people, dancers and runners. Following the ceremony, the danzantes offered
their prayers and energia. I was so
happy to be able to share that with them.
A little later after we all ate and were settling down. We got the word that Abuelo Gustavo had left
on his journey. The following moments
were a blur as runners, dancers and community members alike formed a tight
circle around the staffs while Gabi, Sharah and I sang The Peace Song by Arthur
Dick. We lite a candle and listened as
we gave our blessings and tears to his spirit.
Although a sad moment, it was truly one of the most beautiful I have
seen. This was how we needed to deal
with sadness, anger and pain - holding each other, singing together, by sharing
as one.
Sometime in the middle of this prayer my body pulled me out
and reminded me once again of my physical needs. I asked my tía Juanita if she can accompany
me to the bathroom. The bathroom, as
some may know, has two stalls with metal toilets and a metal sink (little to no
paper- especially at that time of night).
The first stall was littered with stuff I simply was afraid to be near
because it was quite gross. The second
stall was in use. We waited outside to
escape the stench until the bathroom was unoccupied.
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| Abuelo Gustavo |
With some time two women emerged, sweaty, stumbling and in a
hurry to get away. In those few seconds
it took me to eat up their presence, I realized what the belt buckle noise I
heard in the bathroom really was. They
were shooting up. Naturally I continued
to the bathroom because duty calls. But
once I reached that back stall I stopped.
Only moments before two women sat and stood cramped into this space,
shooting poison directly into their blood in order to forget whatever fearful feelings they held within themselves. Many of you
who are reading may not know my personal story, but my biological mother was a
heroin addict. I saw her on it and I saw
her withdrawal from it when she couldn’t get her hands on the next fix. So as you can imagine, it was hard for me to
be there in that place and time. Without thinking I
turned around, not feeling my bladder, not feeling anything but heat as it reached
my face with newfound tears.
That night I thanked Abuelo Gustavo for his work to unite people
and to create healthy relationships with others and ourselves. I thank him for the circle that was created
that night on his behalf. And I hope that one
day that homeless man down the street, those two women and my mom will not have to turn to drugs, but have a circle of
family and friends who they can cry and sing with.
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